A politically correct greeting and wishes for this holiday season

This was my 2009 Christmas hub. You will find links to 2010 and 2011 at the end. Enjoy and best wishes for the holiday season. -- Lynda

To all my readers, hub-friends, hub-enemies (without prejudice) and visitors to my hubpages:

Free to all, without monetary consideration present or future,^{( footnote 1)} are my best wishes for this holiday season; including Christmas, Chanukha, Winter Solstice, but not exclusive of any other titled fest normally associated with these calendar dates (or any other calendars in use by other societies). These wishes are offered by lmmartin (hereinafter referred to as wisher) with no obligations, implicit or implied by any section or clause herein, to recipient (hereinafter referred to as wishee. )

May all wishees enjoy a politically correct, environmentally conscious, gender neutral, socially responsible, religiously tolerant, non-substance abusive, racially and ethnically unbiased, low-stress, low-fat, trans-fat free, celebration of this holiday season in accordance with those traditions of the religious persuasion and secular practices of your choice, non exclusive of those who adhere to non-religious, commercially oriented beliefs.

Wisher also offers wishes to wishees for a fiscally responsible, spiritually fulfilling, personally expanding, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted commencement of the calendar year 2010, but not limited to those following Julian calendar but inclusive of those following the generally accepted calendar use of their societal environs.

All wishes are offered without guarantees (stated or unstated) to all wishees regardless of race, gender, religious faith, physical abilities, age, sexual orientation or ethnic origins, and with all due respect to those of all cultures whose contributions to society built this great nation (not restricted to the United States of America, nor implying that the U.S. is greater than any other country or is the only America in the western hemisphere. Wishes are also available in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Ireland, Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa except where prohibited by law.)

• Acceptance of these wishes implies acceptance of all terms and conditions stated herein.

• Wishes are subject to change, clarification or withdrawal by wisher without prior notice to wishees.

• Wishes are freely transferable without license or permission provided no alteration is made to original wishes.

• Wishes imply no promise or obligation by or of the wisher to implement said wishes.

• Wishes are warranted by wisher within the usual application of said wishes for a period of one year (twelve consecutive months) or until the issuance of a subsequent wish, whichever comes first.

• Warranty is limited to replacement of wish.

^{Footnote 1} (No remuneration of monies, future credit obligations, or return wishes required. However, wishees may click on ads found adjacent to these wishes in order to increase wisher’s $1.27 in adsense account. (Failure to perform said action does not impact nor negate wishes.)

In witness thereof, signature affixed,

Lynda M. Martin

^{Footnote 2}(Due credit for inspiration given to ‘Humor Matters” website. Not plagiarized.)

May you all enjoy the best of times over the holiday season. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate this religious holidays, and may God Bless you All.

Here is my gift of a smile and a chuckle: a few quotes from the net:

"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know… the birth of Santa."—Bart Simpson

"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit." -- Anonymous

"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?" -- Arlo Guthrie

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." --
Bernard Manning.

"Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family... " -- Berke Breathed

"I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed."—Charlie Brown

A few Santa facts:

Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.

Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton ssleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.

To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.

At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.